Posts Tagged ‘Poetry’

**Content warning: This is one person’s story; everyone will have unique experiences in recovery and beyond. Some stories may mention eating disorder thoughts, behaviors, and symptoms. Please use your discretion when reading and speak with your support system as needed.

While navigating her own recovery journey at The Emily Program, Teresa Schmitz discovered a hidden gift in being known as a great listener with a compassionate heart. Being earmarked as an IT Leader who was more into the people on her teams than the technology they were building, she realized her purpose was beyond her title. She connected the dots and soon realized her purpose was to help empower others. She pursued her dreams of becoming a coach and launched her own coaching business, My Best Self Yet.  She now helps women feel empowered to navigate the journey of loving themselves unconditionally. She also empowers others to know and use their character strengths in the In It Together group coaching program. Learn more about Teresa’s story and follow My Best Self Yet on Facebook, Instagram, and her blog.

Before treatment, I’d been searching for a lost soul.

I looked for her in everything I did and in everyone around me. I chased after my career as if I’d find her there—as if my soul and my work were one and the same. I chased after other people’s lifestyles because I thought their lives were better than mine, especially if their bodies were smaller than mine.

I could not find peace within myself because my eating disorder had convinced me I wasn’t worthy enough. If you keep chasing, you’ll eventually find her is what my eating disorder convinced me. We can’t find our souls in a job or another human being (I know this now), and I was exhausted from years of trying. By the time I entered treatment, I was exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally.

It took months of treatment to peel back all these layers and to realize (and believe) I was worthy. On a summer night in June, seven months into treatment, I felt a sense of peace wash over me and words poured out of my soul as if I’d discovered the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I took time to write a poem to myself. It went like this:

**Content warning: This is one person’s story; everyone will have unique experiences in recovery and beyond. Some stories may mention eating disorder thoughts, behaviors, and symptoms. Please use your discretion when reading and speak with your support system as needed.

Caitlin Leigh is a life coach and author who experienced a multi-faceted eating disorder for over 14 years. She has now been recovered for over 5 years, and continues to heal through creative expression, solitude, travel, and reconnecting with nature. Caitlin recently published a new book of poetry, Boundlessness. She talks with us about it here.

Tell us about your new collection of poetry!

My new collection of poetry is called Boundlessness, which was my intention and word for the year. I wanted to bring more openness and expansion into my life and release any resistance, and Boundlessness was a great way to encapsulate this. This book really expresses all the human emotions we experience on a daily basis, along with simple reminders of our inherent worth and beauty.

Can you share an excerpt with us?

Here are two poems from Boundlessness, “Panna” and “And I giggle.”

Some days
It feels as though
My heart
Has left my chest
-I run-
Some days
My chest
Burns
As bright
As the golden sun
-I stay-
And some days
I sit with
The quietness
Of my heart
And bask
In infinite
Bliss.
-Panna (wisdom)-

Photo © Linda Merkens – normaalgesproken.com

**Content warning: This is one person’s story; everyone will have unique experiences in recovery and beyond. Some stories may mention eating disorder thoughts, behaviors, and symptoms. Please use your discretion when reading and speak with your support system as needed.

Ananda de Jager is the author of Poems of Recovery, a collection that provides an intimate and honest look at her eating disorder recovery. She openly shares her thoughts and feelings about healing her relationship with herself and food in the book and on Instagram. Learn more about Ananda on her website, anandadejager.com.

In this Q&A, Ananda reflects on the healing value of writing, sharing, and reading poetry and shares excerpts from her book.

**Content warning: This is one person’s story. Everyone will have unique experiences on their own path to recovery and beyond. Some stories may mention eating disorder thoughts, behaviors, and symptoms. Please use your discretion when reading and speak with your support system as needed.

This poem was submitted anonymously by a former Emily Program client.

I wrote “When I Said” when I began treatment for anorexia four years ago. I felt guilty for the lies I used to cover up my eating disorder behaviors, but I learned to see that deception and manipulation were actually part of my illness.

Now when I read this poem, I see two voices speaking. One is my eating disorder and the other is my true, healthy self. Today I’m thankful that my voice is much louder than the eating disorder’s.

**Content warning: This is one person’s story. Everyone will have unique experiences on their own path to recovery and beyond. Some stories may mention eating disorder thoughts, behaviors, and symptoms. Please use your discretion when reading and speak with your support system as needed.

These poems were submitted anonymously by an Emily Program client.

An apology to my home

Dear body,

I am so sorry. I almost don’t know where to begin. I have put you through so much. And I hate to say it, but I’m going to put you through more as I try to fight this. And I will fight this.

 All you have ever done is try to support me.

**Content warning: Some stories may mention eating disorder thoughts, behaviors, and symptoms. Please use your discretion when reading and speak with your support system as needed.

By Kaitlyn Rose

Be Full

This emptiness that calls
with such urgency
is a lie,

A false promise of safety
and the ability
to Breathe
amidst
the pain.