**Content warning: This is one person’s story; everyone will have unique experiences in recovery and beyond. Some stories may mention eating disorder thoughts, behaviors, and symptoms. Please use your discretion when reading and speak with your support system as needed.
Megan Bazzini is a writer—an aspiring YA novelist, cringe-worthy poet, and mental health essayist. She’s also a business school grad who has lived in LA, Hong Kong, and Milan. Now she’s returned home to New York, where she is a proud chihuahua rescue mom and works in technology strategy. Megan’s eating disorder recovery mantra is, “Keep going. Recovery is worth it.” You can follow her on Twitter (@BazziniBooks) or visit her portfolio.
Eating disorder recovery is about recognizing the eating disorder thoughts and ultimately separating from, standing up to, and ignoring them. I eventually felt my personal progress had stalled in recovery, which made me self-conscious. I feared that I failed, and increasingly I withdrew socially.
I hadn’t known what being triggered meant or what it felt like before this difficult recovery hurdle. I became overly self-critical after hearing, “We’re so bad for eating X,” or “I didn’t eat today just to save room for Y.” It dredged up hot shame—my anorexia nervosa and its usual whispers. Recovery was antithetical to these common diet comments, but I knew I should be social and keep diet culture thoughts to myself.