Episode 41: Beyond Quasi-Recovery with Miranda Snyder

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**Content warning: This is one person’s story; everyone will have unique experiences in recovery and beyond. Some stories may mention eating disorder thoughts, behaviors, and symptoms. This episode includes mention of sexual assault. Please use your discretion when listening and speak with your support system as needed.

Episode description:

Miranda Snyder is a student in the Honors College at the University of Maine, where she is studying to be a high school ELA teacher. A strong proponent of storytelling-based advocacy, her past and current advocacy efforts emphasize the power of lived experience.

The power of Miranda’s lived experience is on full display in this episode of Peace Meal. She shares with us her eating disorder story, charting it from illness to “quasi-recovery” to full recovery.

When Miranda first underwent treatment for anorexia in eighth grade, she felt she had little say in the matter. She received ample support from friends, teachers, and friends, but her participation in care was more passive than active. Although she achieved nutritional rehabilitation, she continued to struggle with strict food rules and routines for the next several years. She lived in so-called “quasi-recovery.”

“I figured, ‘This is as good as it’s gonna get,’ she says, reflecting on that time. “I would be doing the best I could and be achieving so well, but I would always have an ED in the back of my mind.”

And then came a turning point.

Earlier this year, Miranda realized that she is “worth so much more than a quasi-recovered life.” She entered treatment again, this time on her own terms as a 21-year-old.

Miranda put her whole self into recovery, making it a project that received her full focus and dedication. She voraciously took notes in virtual “eating school,” relied on support from family and friends, and regularly journaled affirmations and plans for her future. 

In moving beyond quasi-recovery, Miranda has found space for things far more meaningful than disordered rules and routines. She’s better able to engage in coursework, research, and advocacy, she says, as well as relationships with others. She’s more present, more centered. She has claimed a sense of self rooted in her true values—and a life fully free from the leech that is an eating disorder. 

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About the podcast:

Peace Meal is an Emily Program podcast that discusses topics related to eating disorders, body image issues, and how society may contribute to distorted thinking.

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