My initial 2 hour meeting is next week to see what the Emily program recommends in relation to what level of care they think would best suit me.

Did any of you feel on the fence about this meeting, about starting treatment? I want to recover but I have had my eating disorder for 10 years now and I just don’t see how I can let go.  It just seems so ingrained, so mixed with my being.

I’m so afraid and could use some words of encouragement or other reactions.

I was very scared to go to my first appointment. I wondered a lot of things like, do I really need this, am I wasting time, I don’t have a problem, what if people find out (e.g. employers, etc…). You name it, the thought was there. After I sat in there and talked, it was evident that I needed help (even though I already knew that)...it was clear. It was hard to get through the door and begin to open up because I had been closed off….it does get easier but with baby steps.

Your eating disorder may feel like an integral part of your identity, but it really does not have to define you!  The EP people are professionals, and it’s their job to help you find a way to untangle all the different issues and figure out what is the real you.  I had an eating disorder for over 20 years before getting help, and while it seems to be true that the longer you have it, the harder it can be to recover, it IS possible, if you want it.

Go into your evaluation with an open mind, and remember that the EP people are there to help you.  Ask lots of questions!  There isn’t anything they haven’t heard before, and nothing is too trivial to ask about.

Good luck!