I’m new to this forum, and I’m not entirely sure I am doing this correctly.

I’m wondering if anyone has some feedback for me - I have had an eating disorder in the past and feel like, currently, I feel like I’m doing fairly well in my recovery. But there are still things I haven’t come to a conclusion on and some things I just don’t know what to do about (like being really anxious when I don’t, in my mind, exercise enough….). I mean , I have a pretty good idea, but I still feel like there’s a lot more I need to learn. Most of the time, I just ignore a lot of my ED thoughts and that seems to work OK until they pile up and I have to look at them and then I just cry. I want to learn more and keep gowing about this stuff but don’t know where to start. I want to be active in recovery, but don’t know where to go. Does anyone have any sugggestions?

I’ve been wanting to join this thread for a long time….eventhough I’m fine most of the time, ED is still always in the back of my head. And I’m feeling really anxious about saying anything because that means ED is still bothering me. And I’m afraid that acknowledging it will make things worse…..

Good for you for reaching out here!  It can be really scary to face the fact that you have unresolved issues with food.  I often feel that same way—that ignoring the ed thoughts and voices in my head will make them go away—but of course, they don’t (at least, not in my experience).  I think lots of people have to entertain the idea of active recovery for a while before they feel comfortable enough to act.  It’s OK to take it slowly.  Be gentle and patient with yourself.

I think for some people those voices and thoughts do go away—a lot of the staff at emily program have had eating disorders at some point in their lives. I don’t know if someone who still had those thoughts/voices could work with eating disorder clients all day, every day!

For me, I’m not there yet. Who knows how long it will take. But I am noticing little by little I am able to challenge those thoughts (instead of just ignoring them, when I was doing that I was on this constant roller coaster of better-worse-better-worse), and some of them have gone away with enough challenging. It’s not easy, and it’s really frustrating sometimes how slow it is, but it is so worth it as things start getting better!

Good luck :)